Me: Alright doc, how's she looking?
Doctor: Your grandmother is good as new. We just had to do a little more work than we'd originally planned on.
Me: Whoa, hold on. How much extra work?
Doctor: Well, we suspect she may have had a kidney stone, so we just went ahead and got rid of one em'. Then we did the same thing with the appendix and put in a pace-maker for good measure.
Me: What!? She came in here with a little cough! Couldn't you have just given her some antibiotics?
Doctor: We had to do some extra work, it couldn't be avoided.
Me: How much more is this going to cost me?
Doctor: About $100,000.
Me: $100k!? There's no way my insurance will cover this!
Doctor: That's the way it is. The pacemaker had to be shipped in from Detroit.
Me: I can't spend this much on her. She probably won't even last me another five years!
Doctor: I'm sorry.
Me: Honestly, at this point I might as well just cut my losses and sell her for parts.
Doctor: Is she a donor?
Me: Yeah.
Doctor: We could always use the extra organs.
Me: It's just hard. She's been in the family such a long time.
Doctor: Well, it's $100,000 for the parts and labor.
Me: That's outrageous. Just keep her.
Grandma: Brian, I'm scared.
Me: Go with the doctor, Grandma.
